Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Did I Just See Sanity? (Cain)

The Market Ticker

Well blow me down.

Herman Cain, running for President (R), said the following:

The plan begins with restructuring the tax code to include the broadest possible base at the lowest possible rate. The elements are:

A 9% corporate flat tax. Businesses would deduct purchases from other businesses and all capital investment. The resulting gross income is taxed at 9%.

A 9% personal flat tax. Individuals would deduct charitable contributions, then pay 9% on the rest of their income. Capital gains are excluded.

A 9% national sales tax. This levy would be placed on the consumption of all new goods. Used goods purchased would be excluded.

Ok, a hybrid tax plan. Eh, I might be able to support that. But that's not news.

THIS is news:

But these policies must be coupled with sound money. A dollar must be worth the same tomorrow as it is today.

Wait a second... you mean this law will be given teeth?

The Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System and the Federal Open Market Committee shall maintain long run growth of the monetary and credit aggregates commensurate with the economy's long run potential to increase production, so as to promote effectively the goals of maximum employment, stable prices, and moderate long-term interest rates.

You make that underlined clause the centerpiece of the campaign, including an explicit promise to criminalize currency debasement (that is, inflation) and you've got my vote.

I suggest that the penalty be identical to that of the original Currency Act (hanging, preferably on The Mall at high noon.)


LA Porn Studio Begins Construction On ‘Post-Apocalyptic’ Underground Bunker

A San Fernando Valley adult entertainment studio began construction this month on what it calls a “post-apocalyptic” underground bunker in anticipation of a global catastrophe rumored to take place in late 2012.

A spokesman for Van Nuys-based Pink Visual said the bunker will be “far more than a mere bomb shelter or subterranean survivalist enclave” with amenities such as multiple fully-stocked bars, an enormous performing stage and a sophisticated content production studio.

“Our goal is nothing less than to survive the apocalypse to come in comfort and luxury,” said Pink Visual spokesman Quentin Boyer, “whether that catastrophe takes the form of fireballs flung earthward by an all-seeing deity, extended torrential rainfall, Biblical rapture, an earthquake-driven mega-tsunami, radioactive flesh-eating zombies, or some combination of the above.”