Saturday, June 9, 2012

The 5 Most Humiliating Ways the Wilderness Can Kill You

Via ruusso

Like any relationship between parents and their grown offspring, Mother Nature and humanity get along best when they don't have to see each other very often. Weekend visits and the occasional longer holiday trip seem to be enough for people to appreciate the majesty of nature while still avoiding the inherent guilt of not doing enough for their Mother in her old age. On the other hand, the biggest difference between your real mother and Mother Nature is that if you overstay your welcome in the wilderness, it will murder you.

Probably. I won't pretend to know what your family dynamic is like.

Each year, due to ill-preparedness or accidents, scores of people get lost for days in the outdoors, and many of them end up dead, because nature is full of terrible things like sharp rocks, snow and indifference. Even the most knowledgeable outdoorsman can die while lost in the woods, because he is surrounded by circumstances beyond his control. That's why, instead of preparing you to survive on your own in the wild, I want to at least help you avoid dying in the most embarrassing ways possible. There are a handful of mortal threats in the outdoors that no one talks about and that are wildly humiliating. So if you ever find yourself lost in the middle of nowhere, you may not survive, but you can certainly avoid having your last sensation be utter shame. Here are five deaths to avoid if you can help it.

#5. Killed by Constipation

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  1. It had never occurred to me that people would refuse to poop in the woods. I've an expert at finding large leaves.:)

  2. Just be careful that there is no poison oak or ivy interspersed with yer "large" leaves!

    Gotta love that Charmin!



  3. Believe me neighbor ,the longer I stay in this the more I understand where the 3% figure come`s from. Attempting to teach land navigation : one man who was a Navy veteran !,could`nt even orient himself on a map to the 4 pts. of a compass !.The only one there who could have found the nearest Wal-Mart ,was a former Army Ranger now in his 60`s.

  4. Goodness, I took map reading in military high school, though Lord only knows what I remember.:)

  5. I don`t mean to ridicule these folk`s , their heart and mind is in the right place. We have seen in the last several year`s and in Nam. the problem`s a small determined insurgent group can cause a large invading army on their home turf. There are place`s where a guerrilla war could be carried on for a 100 yrs. ,and they could never be defeated. In the back water swamp`s of Louisiana or the Carolina mountain`s , they,re going to have to be able to find their way around.

  6. a small determined insurgent group ......... could never be defeated. In the back water swamp`s of Louisiana or the Carolina mountain`s

    Quite possibly with friendlies helping with re-supply.