My belly is full of pork and my lungs are swimming in cigarette smoke, but I don’t feel like forking over $60 to enjoy my Chinese girlfriend’s company tonight. Saipan is where all of Asia comes to sin, so I’m sure she’s busy with a more affluent gentleman.
This oft-forgotten American territory, officially known as the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands (of which Saipan is the capital and largest island), has long established its notoriety as a hotspot for international sex tourists, commonly known as “mongerers.” That’s because it is swarming with sweethearts of the me-love-you-long-time variety. The Marianas boast the world’s greatest female-to-male gender disparity, with 74 men for every 100 women.
Laid off in the aftermath of the Jack Abramoff/Tom DeLay garment-industry scandal, these former garment workers chose more lucrative careers as sex workers. White-knight liberals did what any spiteful cock block would do: They ruined everyone else’s fun.
The garment industry created tens of thousands of jobs for residents and foreign workers, but the story goes that corporate executives blatantly exploited the labor force, overworking and underpaying workers in “sweatshop-like conditions.”
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