Bureaucrats declare that water does not prevent dehydration (Not from The Onion)

Milton Wolf
VERBATIM POST
========

As Glenn Reynolds would say, we're in the very best of hands. European edition.

EU bans claim that water can prevent dehydration
Brussels bureaucrats were ridiculed yesterday after banning drink manufacturers from claiming that water can prevent dehydration.

EU officials concluded that, following a three-year investigation, there was no evidence to prove the previously undisputed fact.

Producers of bottled water are now forbidden by law from making the claim and will face a two-year jail sentence if they defy the edict, which comes into force in the UK next month.

I'm not sure what's worse: Their conclusion? The 2-year jail sentence for noncompliance? Or the fact that they spent 3 years researching the issue?

I understand the 17th century's Robert Cardinal Bellarmine agreed with the ruling but conceded that it would be permissible for bottled water manufacturers to claim that water quenches thirst but only in purely hypothetical terms, never as a real physical phenomenon.