“It’s
definitely an unprecedented move,” explained U.S. Attorney General Eric
Holder, “but completely necessary for the safety of surrounding Alabama
counties. We’ve received countless complaints of celebratory gunshots
going off for completely ridiculous reasons. I mean, who celebrates the
opening of a new Dollar General?”
Residents
of Walker County were slowly receiving news of the landmark Executive
Branch decision as they awoke from their welfare-subsidized naps
Wednesday. “Un-be-lievable,” exclaimed Joe Franks of Carbon Hill, “If
President Kenya thinks he can just waltz on into the WC and take my guns
he’s got another thing comin.”
At
press time, the White House reported that the President was still
considering the removal of fireworks, mud tires, truck nutz, King James
Version Bibles, and Milo’s Sweet Tea from Walker County.
Who celebates events with gunfire in the air ? Mainly immigrants who came from other countries, thats who ! Every New Years Eve, down in the Rio Grande Valley of Texas, we get stories of a home (or person) being hit by this gun fire. Lot of mid Eastern countries make this a habit (gun fire in air).
ReplyDelete& where they fall, nobody knows or cares, evidently.
DeleteGotta start someplace
ReplyDeleteI would be suspicious of this, it may be well crafted sarcasm. I can find no primary source other than "Walker County's Least Trusted News Source" to confirm.
ReplyDeleteYou would think that something as outrageous as the _resident's spokes puppet's purported statement would raise more than a few eyebrows let alone one lonesome headline.
Hbbill
Somewhere behind enemy lines,
Peoples Republik of Kommiefornia
At press time, the White House reported that the President was still considering the removal of fireworks, mud tires, truck nutz, King James Version Bibles, and Milo’s Sweet Tea from Walker County.
DeletePerfect ending. :)
I think this is from the onion or a similar site
DeleteTake their guns away? Yes, it is an outstanding idea. Let's start with taking away ALL military weapons, gear and equipment from the LEOs, given to them by the FEDS and the DOD. ALL FED agencies that got guns and bullets while antichrist Obama was/is in office to include first and foremost,ATF, DHS, TSA. And revisit this notion that certain cities need to have their own private para-military army...er...police force.
ReplyDeleteDo that first, and I bet even the NRA would like it.
Hey Mr Held in contempt of Congress Holder, just maybe letting all those ILLEGAL aliens into this country was not such a good idea after all. And if they are the owns shooting the guns up in the air to celebate, why not just say that this is another example of how diversity is enriching this country with the culture and customs from other countries and hence is a good thing (sarc).
Let's start with taking away ALL military weapons, gear and equipment from the LEOs, given to them by the FEDS and the DOD. ALL FED agencies that got guns and bullets while antichrist Obama was/is in office to include first and foremost,ATF, DHS, TSA.
DeleteGot my vote.
Cripes! Don't give the kenyon any ideas!
ReplyDeleteHa! :)
Delete