Friday, August 26, 2011

Ted Kennedy’s Top Drunk Moments

Via Coordinated Illumination


The real-life Mayor Quimby and America’s answer to Boris Yeltsin, Senator Edward “Ted”, “Teddy”, “Somebody Tell That Drunk Guy To Put Some Clothes On and Get Out of My Restaurant”, Kennedy is dead.

Edward Moore Kennedy’s place in the hierarchy of great Kennedy men might have been foreshadowed at his birth when his father chose to name him after the family chauffeur, and he most likely would not have risen as fast in politics or remained out of incarceration for as long had he not been to the oyster house born. That said, what he lacked in the ability to shape history and inspire generations, he more than made up for in shameless debauchery. And as the authors of the definitive book on the subject, we can appreciate that.

While the standard tributes roll in, and Kennedy’s years in the US Senate are celebrated as something other than the constant reminder of failed promise they must have been for a guy everybody thought would be president, we thought we would pay tribute to a side of Kennedy that kept late-night comedians in material for decades: the shameless, drunkard side that entertained and horrified people from around the world. One of the great debauched sons of privilege has died and while we could not hope to cover even a fraction of the man’s legendary exploits, we figured we would at least offer you a highlight reel of some of those not kicked under the carpet or to which the local constabulary did not turn a blind eye.

Here then are Ted Kennedy’s Top Drunk Moments!

2 comments:

  1. My comment from Alvie’s place:
    I still haven’t made my planned visit to his grave…

    Question for those who may know:
    Is his headstone made by Kohler, Sloan, or American Standard?

    Is it a single, or a trough-style?

    The latter would seem prudent – so as to accommodate more simultaneous visitors, but….

    I just hope they didn’t go with the “waterless” version – though it may SEEM more eco-friendly, I’m afraid the sheer volume of liquid “mementos” likely to be deposited would burn the grass and cause brown spots if not diluted with flush-water…

    In any case, I’ve been looking forward to my visit for a long time, since I first heard he was sick. I’ve been training so as to ensure that when I finally get to pray my respects I’ll be capable of a volume and force of stream befitting his myriad accomplisments!

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