Wuhan Virus Has Reached a Stage 5 Catastrophe

Via Billy

 

Researchers in labs across this great country and around the world are working on a cure to stop the spread of celebrities sharing their thoughts and songs about coronavirus.  The only thing that seems to work at this early stage of clinical trials is for celebrities to take a healthy dose of STFU.  Sadly, the prognosis does not look good.

We are currently in the worst part of this pandemic.  No, this is not about a shuttered economy teetering on the brink, nor has the mortality rate in the United States zoomed to something like 20%.  The R-naught is not 89.4 and the number of cases has not increased a hundredfold over night.

 Things have turned for the worse because a lot of celebrities have decided to comment on the Covid-19 outbreak with video and commentary, some of which have gone (excuse the expression) viral.

The symptoms of this new viral contagion are actually worse than Wuhan virus.  It starts with a surge of narcissism and quickly progresses to diarrhea of the mouth.  This is followed by involuntary vomiting and raging headaches among innocent people who happen to hear or see the dribble coming from certifiable bubble heads.

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