Canadians: "Build a Damn Fence!"

From The Manitoba Herald

by Clive Runnels

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken.

When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields.

"Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn't give any milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves." A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet, though."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution fro conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age" an official said.

Canadian citizens hav complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them." an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"

Via Michel

The Democrat Civil War Already In Progress

"........that the Democrat party did not need blue-collar white voters, the Jacksonian voters, the Hillary voters, because the party was “Obamafied” and would win elections for generations with the Obama coalition of blacks, Leftist elites, Hispanics, low information gay voters, and self-hating Jews."

This is all the Democrats have left........"

Via Robert McKinney

Art Robinson Vs: DeFazio (Of Impeach SCJ Roberts Fame)

Dear Friends, Rush Limbaugh mentioned the Art Robinson/DeFazio race on his radio show today! It came up because of DeFazio's ridiculous political stunt in which he called for the impeachment of the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, John Roberts. Rush Limbaugh also mentioned that Charlie Cook - a well known analyst - has moved our race from safe Democrat to "in play"! Although he did not mention Art Robinson's name, it is an indicator of how this race is gradually attracting more and more national attention. Most political analysts have been assuming up until now that DeFazio is unbeatable, largely because he has been there so long. If we can win on election day (which we are very likely to do), it will be major national news. Please continue to work as hard as possible to make sure our campaign is a success! Almost 1/3 of Oregon voters don't usually vote in the midterm elections - often because they just don't get around to it. Only you can make sure they do this time! If you would like to call or e-mail Rush Limbaugh and tell him more about our race, it would be very worthwhile. He is probably not aware of the 17,000 yard signs, 24,000 car door magnets, and tremendous enthusiasm and grass roots support in our campaign. This, of course, is because of all your hard work! It has been a very unusual race, but Rush Limbaugh is covering the election as well as other things for the entire country. You can e-mail him at: elrushbo@eibnet.com or call in tomorrow between 9:00 am and 12:00 noon at: 1-800-282-2882. If you would like to learn about our campaign or make a contribution, our website address is: www.ArtRobinsonForCongress.com . We need to increase our Radio and TV presence if at all possible and we can do this on short notice as contributions come in. Best Regards, Noah Robinson