Flash Editorials September 17, 2011

DumpDC
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International: At the EU’s meetings this week, German Chancellor Angela Merkel stated that there will be NO Eurobonds. The German economy is being used by the rest of the EU leeches as the host, and as you all know, leeches eventually kill the host by bleeding it to death. My guess is that soon, Germany will SECEDE from the European Union and reissue the Deutche Mark, saving their own country from ruin.

The Nation: At Monday night’s “Tea Party Debates,” EVERONE on stage…including Ron Paul…said Social Security and Medicare should be saved. And apparently, Governor Perry felt fine about writing in his book that SS was a Ponzi scheme, but when faced with voters, he nearly soiled himself trying to get away from those words. SS and Medicare are indeed Ponzi schemes, and ALL the candidates who want to save them are criminals. Deal with it.

The Nation II: Need any more reason to secede? In the debate, a teenager named Tyler Hinsley asked the candidates, “Out of every dollar that I earn, how much do you think that I deserve to keep?” No presidential candidate could give a straight answer. The correct answer? 100%.

Religion: I see that evangelical kook-burger Pat Robertson tells his 700 Club audience that it’s OK to divorce your spouse if he/she has Alzheimer’s Disease. I guess that whole “til death us do part” promise doesn’t count if your spouse is non compos mentis. Same goes for a spouse in a coma, I guess. Kick ‘em to the curb and get you a new, better equipped model. Apparently the Reverend never saw the movie “The Notebook.” Pat…you’re an anal opening surrounded by a sphincter.

Economy: The weekly unemployment figures show a spike to 428,000 new jobless claims, 14,000 higher than last week. What else do I need to say?

Business: The green shyt hit the fan this week, covering both Republicans and Democrats with the aromatic effluent. The Bush administration started the process for the loan, and the Barry bunch finished it. Solyndra, a solar tech company, got a $535 million loan guarantee from Washington, then filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy. The American taxpayers take it in the shorts. Who was their financial advisor? Goldman Sachs. But let me ask why anyone gives a shyt
(staying with a theme here) about a mere half a billion. There is about $18 Billion in cash missing in Iraq…just disappeared and cannot be traced. The Bush administration flew cargo planes loaded with pallets of $100 bills to Iraq and handed out the cash like Trick or Treat candy. Anybody care about that?

Sports: The NFL has partnered with Homeland Security with the new “If you see something, say something” ad campaign, along with enhanced pat downs at all 32 football stadiums when you try to get into an NFL game. More training for Americans to do what they’re told. Makes me want to boycott the No Fun League for collaboration with the enemy.

Entertainment: Ex-Beatle Paul McCartney will soon wed Nancy Shevell,his third. The band at the reception will be ZZ Top, performing their hit “She Got Legs.”

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© Copyright 2011, Russell D. Longcore. Permission to reprint in whole or in part is gladly granted, provided full credit is given.