All Things to All People

President Clinton was, as we all know, the nation's first black president. Now Newsweek has declared Obama to be America's first gay president which means the first gay president will probably have to settle for being called the first alien president and, after that, the first alien president will be out of luck.

Unwilling to allow any of his future successors to corner the market on identity, the Washington Post has dubbed Obama; "The First Female President", which is ironic given how his victory actually prevented the election of the country's first female president. But the only way for Obama to win the war on women may be by going transgender.

Last year New York Magazine put Obama in a Kippa and stuck him on the cover as the "First Jewish President." Before that he had already been dubbed the "First Asian-American President", cementing his appeal as all things to all people. And why not, when we live in a wonderful time when anyone can be anything they want.

Elizabeth Warren, with her strong northern European features, and an ancestor who participated in the "Trail of Tears", can be recognized as a "Woman of Color," and, when challenged on her claim, the media rolls out a dozen pieces suggesting that Cherokee ancestry is some sort of vague unstructured concept that can't be quantified with rigid standards such as actually having a Cherokee ancestor.

Over in Florida, that infamous white menace, George Zimmerman is standing trial and if the trial doesn't go Holder's way, the attorney general will charge him with a hate crime. In a saner world, there would be more chances of Holder going to jail for the mass murder of Latinos as part of a plot to subvert the Bill of Rights; than there would be of a Latino man being lynched as a white racist.

But we don't live in a sane world, we live in a post-racial world, where everything is racial and nothing is racial. Where race is meaningful and meaningless, everywhere and nowhere, where everyone who wants to be someone has a victim identity in their wallet and an essay on the plight of their people.

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