Thursday, May 3, 2012

TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:

Via The Feral Irishman

30. When I retire, I'm movin' up north.

29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

28. Duct tape won't fix that.

27. Come to think of it, I'll have a white wine instead of a beer.

26. We don't keep firearms in this house.

25. You can't feed that to the dog.

24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

23. Rastling is fake.

22. We're vegetarians.

21. Do you think my gut is too big?

20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy..

19. Honey, we don't need another dog.

18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?

17. Give me the small bag of barbecue pork rinds.

16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

14. Trim the fat off that steak.

13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

12. The tires on that truck are too big.

11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.

10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

9. My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

7. Checkmate.

6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

4. I don't have a favorite college team.

3. You Guys.

2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:

1. Nope, no more beer for me. I'm driving a whole busload of us down to the re-elect OBAMA rally!

2 comments:

  1. I may be a Yankee but I have never used any of those phrases nor have any of my friends. I mean honestly why anyone would ever make a small bag of barbecue pork rinds. All joking aside I have vacationed across the south and have never met more honest and friendly folk anywhere. Well, with the possible exception of Florida. However I am not sure since I do not think I have ever met anyone from Florida. It seems everyone there is from New York or New Jersey.

    Badger

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  2. It seems everyone there is from New York or New Jersey.

    Damn if that ain't the truth! D

    Dixie and I were very pleasantly surprised when we checked out of the Walmart in Tarboro over the PATCON weekend and the teller was a delightfully friendly lady with a harsh New Jersey accent who never stopped talking about her daughter and Dixie! She'll fit rite' in down her'!:)

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