To my fellow Associates: My name is Diversity-26, although my family and friends knew me as John before the Great Purge of Christianity. Today, as part of my punishment, I have been required to give you my story and beg you all for forgiveness for having disrupted your safe and happy lives.
According to the decrees of Democratic Socialism (or Dezism), I am a non-binary citizen of the Commune of Equality. The year is 142 E.T. (Era of Tolerance), and I live in the Quadrant of Purple, which is now referenced in history as The Great Wicked South Carolina by our State Educational Officers. Some of you may recall that I once wrote for
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