SOUTHERN BIRTH SIGNS
Via
Valerie Protopapas
What's
Your "Southern" Sign? Some of us (especially Southerners) are pretty
skeptical of horoscopes, and it has become obvious that what we need are
Southern" symbols:
OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20) Although you appear crude, you are actually very
slick on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can
look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere.
Stay away from Moon Pies.
CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19) Chitlins
come from humble backgrounds. A chitlin, however, can make something of
himself if he's motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with
Chitlins, be careful. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best
with Catfish and Okra.
BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - Mar 20) You have
an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of
things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of
everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you
had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you,
so don't worry about it.
MOON PIE (Mar 21- Apr 20) You're the
type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch to
recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the
key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely
interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This might be the
year to think about aerobics. Or, maybe not.
POSSUM (Apr 21 -
May 21) When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked
tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude.
Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead.
This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work
for you. One day, however, it won't work and you may find your problems
actually running you over.
CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21) Craw fish is a water sign. If you work in an
office, you're always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the
beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the
living room. You tend to be not particularly attractive physically, but you
have very, very good heads.
COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23) Collards have a genius for communication.
They love to get in the "melting pot" of life and share their essence
with the essence of those round them.. Collards make good social
workers,
psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if
you are Collards, stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save
yourself a lot of heartache.
CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23) Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the
heart, although one's whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You
catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy
bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should
stay away from Moon Pies.
GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23) Your highest aim is to be with others like
yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You
love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a club.
Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or
butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these
things, that serves you well.
BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23)
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately,
those who know you best - your friends and loved ones - may find that
your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably
affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear You
should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a
certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be
sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.
BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22) Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter
Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be
proud. You've grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter
what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too,
shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.
ARMADILLO (Nov 23
- Dec 21) You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are
actually quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some
roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You're not
concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with
anything about today. You're really almost prehistoric in your interests
and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo,
but Possum is another somewhat kinky, mating possibility.
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