In a bold move intended to curb the thousands of deaths from vehicles
each and every day, Walmart has decided to stop selling auto parts,
sources confirmed Tuesday.
According
to shocking reports, people have purchased car parts at Walmart and
then those cars have been involved in accidents, proving a direct
correlation between selling auto parts and causing deaths.
"We can no longer be complicit in an industry that kills over 3,000 people a day," said a spokesperson for Walmart. "Every time we sell a muffler, steering wheel cover, or flame decal, we are potentially causing the death of a person, and we cannot support that any longer."
"It's clear that bad drivers and poor road conditions don't cause vehicular deaths---cars do."
Walmart executives said they are beating themselves with a stick to atone for the deaths they've already caused.
"Our consciences will only be clean when we've been mercilessly beaten once for each of the millions of deaths that have been caused by automobiles since Walmart began selling auto parts," said one executive before solemnly beginning to beat himself with a baseball bat.
"We can no longer be complicit in an industry that kills over 3,000 people a day," said a spokesperson for Walmart. "Every time we sell a muffler, steering wheel cover, or flame decal, we are potentially causing the death of a person, and we cannot support that any longer."
"It's clear that bad drivers and poor road conditions don't cause vehicular deaths---cars do."
Walmart executives said they are beating themselves with a stick to atone for the deaths they've already caused.
"Our consciences will only be clean when we've been mercilessly beaten once for each of the millions of deaths that have been caused by automobiles since Walmart began selling auto parts," said one executive before solemnly beginning to beat himself with a baseball bat.
They also stopped selling high fat and high sugar foods to reduce heart disease and diabetic reactions.
ReplyDeleteThere was a movie that had a line: "Stupid is as stupid does".
There was a movie that had a line: "Stupid is as stupid does".
Delete& a good one to boot.
Does anyone know if the weapons and ammo involved on the 2 recent Wal*Mart shooting were actually purchased in a Wal*Mart store?
ReplyDeleteNot I said the blind man. :)
DeleteAccording to the stats, 30+ people a day are killed in DUI vehicle accidents. Is Walmart going to end the sale of beer and wine? Someone may get drunk and drive off the alcohol they purchase at Walmart, not to mention the adverse influence on impressionable children and under aged teenagers who are with parents or shopping in their stores. Walmart?? --Ron W
ReplyDeleteLogic is not their forte.
DeleteYep, that murdering perp in El Paso open carried the gun into the Walmart. Too bad they didn't have their no open carry sign. These latest shooters have been real assets for the citizen disarmament agenda. The last one finally provided an alleged private buy acquisition. Now they can use that to go after the 4th and 5th Amendments with "universal background checks". But that's just for those evil gun owners. The rest of you good people are OK. --Ron W
ReplyDeleteToo bad they didn't have their no open carry sign.
Delete:)