Tuesday, June 17, 2014

When there is death in the South

http://img.food.com/img/recipes/94/40/7/large/picdV2tHp.jpg

 Exactly as I remember going with my mother to many houses of sadness.

As I drove in she was walking into the house with eggs for breakfast and homemade biscuits ready for baking. Somehow in rural Southern culture, food is always the first thought of neighbors when there is trouble. That is something they can do and not feel uncomfortable. It is something they do not have to explain or discuss or feel self-conscious about.

"Here, I brought you some fresh eggs for your breakfast. And here's a cake. And some potato salad." It means, "I love you. And I am sorry for what you are going through and I will share as much of your burden as I can." And maybe potato salad is a better way of saying it.

Will D. Campbell, from Brother to a Dragonfly

14 comments:

  1. Yes. It works like that. Still. Even in the mountains of southwest VA. Food. What is not said yet said non verbally is profound. To this day. I am humbled to have come from such stock.

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    1. I am humbled to have come from such stock.

      As am I, Sir. My mother would never mention the death in the family as she said it would only make them feel sadder and that they would know full well why we were coming.

      The forbearing use of power does not only form a touchstone, but the manner in which an individual enjoys certain advantages over others is a test of a true gentleman.

      The power which the strong have over the weak, the employer over the employed, the educated over the unlettered, the experienced over the confiding, even the clever over the silly—the forbearing or inoffensive use of all this power or authority, or a total abstinence from it when the case admits it, will show the gentleman in a plain light.

      The gentleman does not needlessly and unnecessarily remind an offender of a wrong he may have committed against him. He cannot only forgive, he can forget; and he strives for that nobleness of self and mildness of character which impart sufficient strength to let the past be but the past.

      A true man of Honor feels humble himself when he cannot help humbling others
      R.E. Lee
      http://www.namsouth.com/viewtopic.php?t=108&highlight=lee+quotes

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  2. another fabulous graphic

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  3. Reminds me of seeing funeral processions. All the other cars would pull over and stop, the men would get out and take their hats off as it passed. Needless to say that was a long time ago.
    Terry
    Fla.

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    1. Thanks. Cars still stop here, but that is all.

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  4. This reminds me of my Grandmother very much. She made the best Potato salad and we took it many times to a house in mourning.


    Grenadier1

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  5. That is some fine looking tater salad. It's breakfast time here, but I'd still eat it, lol.
    It looks to have plenty of mustard, just the way I like it. We have a motto in our family, "if the tater salad isn't yellow, don't eat it!" ;-)

    Good post about funerals and food. I especially liked your reply to Keads. That is so very true.

    Miss Violet

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    1. "if the tater salad isn't yellow, don't eat it!" ;-)

      :) That's the way I like it also.

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      Good post about funerals and food. I especially liked your reply to Keads. That is so very true.

      Thanks, just quoting my hero, as usual. :)

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  6. Brock in the small town where I grew up there is a family owned grocery store that has kicked the old take food to folks in sorrow tradition up a notch. Even though they now have to compete with a Food Lion right up the street, to this day if someone in the community dies they send a delivery of food to the family. Sometimes it is in the hundreds of dollars worth. It doesn't matter who the people are, what color they are or what they believe, if they are customers of that store or even someone they just know about the store shows up with anything they think the family might need to get them through the tough time and to help them properly entertain guest who show up.

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    1. That is extraordinary. Sweetness and kindness triumph. Thanks.

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